Be optimistic!

I am a pessimist. Am I not?

I always feel that I am the one left out from my friends. I mean, the usual gang of course.
Somehow, I feel that I am a nobody to them.
How i feel, what i m thinking, what i m doing....
The minor minor things which I care, it seems nothing to them....
Again, disapointment fill in me....

I am being too sensitive, huh?

Still,
there is no everlasting friendship.........

I always have this negative thought,

IF I NEVER MEET THIS PERSON,
AND NEVER OPEN MY HEART AND LET HIM COME IN,
I WONT HURT THIS MUCH NOW.

Negative thoughts......
Pessimistic thoughts.....

Recently, I try to avoid from them if I can. They might think that leaving me alone is the best solution. Have they ever wondered? Why am I avoiding from them while joining the other gang instead?

Whatever..........

I am being sensitive again.........

I just wish that I can get away from these negative thoughts as soon as possible.
I only wish that our friendship can return to how we are before this.
I remember we were having fun and laughter together. Why is it so hard for me to get this simple happiness now? Why are you avoiding from me? Why is it so hard for us to talk again?

Why must I think so negatively? Why must I jealous? Why am I hating people?

No one is wrong.....
It's me.....
I hate the me now.....

Sorry Lord,
for what i am thinking now
i know i shouldn't think like this
But Lord, You understand how i feel.