..............

what are friends? who are friends?

"no man is an island"

okay, great! right! we live in this society.... how can we live alone without socialize with other people........????

but...
how i wish i can......

sometimes....
i feel tired....
holding the friendship carefully.... scare that it will break once i make mistake.....
why should i do that? can it still be considered as friendship if we cannot say out loud whatever inside our heart, share whatever feeling that we have??? that isn't the kind of friendship i want...
but...
sadly......
now i am one of them....

i used to be very frank with my friends, no secret, no back stabbing, just true friendship......
i love that kinda friendship, dat kinda feeling........
how i miss my childhood, where people treat you honestly.....

but now...
as i grow up, i eventually lost my confidence in believing true friendship........
THERE ISN'T TRUE FRIENDSHIP IN THIS WORLD!!!!

hey!! stupid out there!!!!!!!!! if you really think that there is true friendship, you are wrong man!!! BIG MISTAKE!!!!! STUPID!!!! hahahahahahahahaha.........

such a pessismist!
that might be what you are thinking about me now.... but..... i feel really hopeless now.... no mood... feel so down..... wana cry but cannot cry....... so dissapointed with the friendship i have now...........

you know what?

now i have made a decision.....
i decided not to be hurt by anyone anymore...........
close my heart, not to care what other people think about me anymore.......
i want to be myself.... the true self........
living for myself, not for anyone else.........
even though people might hate me, i dun care! dun want to care anymore!

yeh.....
call me stupid, pessimist, crazy, selfish, arrogant, fake, mean, cruel...........
whatever you like!

because...
i might be calling you the same thing behind your back as well.........

or...
just shout at you in front of you!