Immaturity

I was just reading through my previous posts and realized how immature I was.

I almost forgot the "me" that used to be several years ago. I forgot how the blog used to be my source to release all my emotions: anger, joy, frustration, excitement.

Reading through all those posts, I even feel shameful for myself. How immature. How selfish. How ignorant. How prideful. How self-centered! There are certainly some memories, some journey in my life that I do not want to revisit again. They are just painful.

The fact that I am going to turn 23 soon just hit me like a wave. Not long after that, I will be 25. Then 30. Then 40. Then 70. (If, by the grace and mercy of the sovereign God that He allows me to live that long in this world)

I am kind of scared and uncertain at the mean time to think about who I will be. What kind of person I would turn out to be.

And many many years later, when I look back to this blog, what kind of feeling I would have, thinking about this moment.

Will I look back at my old self and see new changes the Lord has done in my life?
Or will I look back and regret about the ways I have lived my life?

I certainly want to live a life that would glorify His name and Him being the Lord of my life.