It's so hard to be your friend

I thought I have got over with that.

I mean, it's been so long.

But why do I feel like there's a hole in my heart still. It hurts. I am being attacked again and again.

Sometimes, I am really afraid to have another close friend.

Until now, only I realized.
There's still fear in me.
That makes me just want to shut out everyone else into my life.