Asian life group

I just think that we need an update here on what I am currently doing. Haha....

Since last semester, XA has started a new thing called life groups! Tada!!! hahaha... Basically, we have different groups associated with different interests eg. married life group, running life group, dorm life group etc. that meet once a week to share their interests and do the things they like to do together.

For me, I was in this International friends and food life group where we got to eat different food from different country each week when we meet!!!

It was fun. We got to meet a lot of new friends and invited people to come. Nevertheless, it was all about fellowship and not much on the Words. Eventually, it's more like hanging out with friends rather than having any meaningful conversation. People started to come and leave, not being consistent in attendance. I admit that for a few times, I attended the meeting because I feel like I am obliged to, not because I want to. It took up so much of my time on Thursday and I feel like the hang out was just meaningless. (Don't get me wrong, I am happy and do want to see my XA family but I want something more)

I did not tell anyone what I think, but somehow, the rest in XA kind of feel the same thing too. Maybe it's how God works and tell each one of us it's time to change.

So this semester, we kind of change the format of life groups. Instead of just fellowhip-ping, we get more into the Words and discuss about the topic pastor shared during the previous Ignite. It is not as deep as dicipleship but more to like an open discussion where people can share what they think and ask questions. It is geared not only toward believers but also non-believers. It brings a clearer purpose for these life groups.

As Pastor Linda announced this change in one of the furnace prayers and asked us to consider leading a group or suggest any life groups that we can have, God put the thought of starting a new Chinese life group into my mind.

Of course, I tried to ignore that thought. And continued focusing on praying for other people. Then, out of the blue, Fabi turned to me and said "Amy, you should start a Chinese life group!" Then she smiled, and turned back.

Oh my God! Do You really mean something here? O...... K........ (scared)

So I went to Pastor Linda and shared what just happened to her. Telling her that I do not feel like leading and not sure if that is from God.

Ok. Let us try to think through this rationally.

There are not many Asians, let alone Chinese, in XA. And we are supposed to lead the group in triad (three persons) which mean I need another 2 persons to kick this life group off. Where am I going to find these two people??!! And the most important one! I am the one who needs guidance, not leading other people. I am not the kind of person who can lead! Some more a biblical group? You must be kidding me!!!

I shared all these concerns with Pastor Linda, thinking that I can get rid of this whole idea or have someone else to lead, NOT ME! But she adviced me to pray it back to God. Not my will, but Your will be done (I was being reluctant when I prayed this)

But TO MY HORROR, God do listen to my prayers and has been speaking to me. Multiple times. Telling me that it's time to start a life group that is geared more towards Asians. There are a couple of verses that He showed me but I had no faith in whatsoever He promised, for example, I still cannot see who are going to help me with the life group and who to invite.

But God is faithful all the times even when we are faithless.

Eventually,He brought two XA members to help me with this Asian life group. And He showed me where should we have the discussion. And to my surprise! Most of the visitors to Ignite this semester have been Asians!!!!! Hallelujah! I was both horrified and excited by then. Hahaha...

First, we tried to kick off our life group with a Superbowl party. To invite our friends to come to watch the game together and share with them what we are going to do with the life group. We planned and got everything ready. But to our despair, none of the friends we invited came. And I had been having a very bad stomachache that day that I did not even get to prepare the food I was supposed to prepare. Ended up going to PUSH with the doctor telling me that she was not even sure what's wrong with my stomach. Ah well.... It was a pretty awful experience. Having no one to come to your party. Erm, well, that's not completely true, we had like, one came?

Then we had our first formal discussion last Thursday. 3 showed up!! Ermm... the triad. I was so disappointed and kept asking God what's wrong? So we prayed during that meeting, asking God for directions and grace. We were asking God to at least give us 2 persons who are hungry for the Words just so that we can have everything start working.

Last night was the second meeting. And guess what? 10 people showed up!!! 7 visitors plus the triad. I was amazed by how God can just bring people to us. I think we had a pretty well first discussion last night. Even though I was kind of nervous.

I still don't know how this life group is going to turn out to be like.
I still have so many things to learn in order to lead this life group.
I do feel unworthy to do what I am doing now because I just feel like I am so unqualified compared to other brothers and sisters.

But I thank God that He is still willing to use me and has been teaching me to just trust in Him and not to worry too much.

Please, don't look at me when you see me. For if it's not God who strengthens me, I would have failed terribly. And gave up.

I am agreeing with Him that He is going to touch and bring salvation among the Asian students here in Purdue. Let's agree with Him in our prayers =)